ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well I can't set my house on fire every night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
