My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
