he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I had to cum in my sink.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
