I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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