Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
