please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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