In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
