I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
