Nicole vs. Life
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i think i have two assholes
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
