How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize