Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
