There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize