Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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