First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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