so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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