Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
