my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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