1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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