Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
