Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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