I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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