Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
