i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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