well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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