Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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