Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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