this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize