I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
