I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
