She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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