We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
