dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
