Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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