it was like fucking gandolphs beard
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Found your dick twin last night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
