rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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