I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
