"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
