At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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