Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
