I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
