And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
