They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize