My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
