Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
tell me about the eggs
Randomize