We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
