Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize