We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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