then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The adults are the big ones right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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