I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
