I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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