Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
