You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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