Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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