you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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