I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
