Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
