? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
