Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
