Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
