idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
