In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
