While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
